Now; my mother walking down the street almost in tears, looking at me but nothing more. The feeling of great sadness because she could be leaving me forever. My dad going after her on his bike.
This has happened before once when I was really young. My relationship with my parents were great. But one day something happened between my parents and she walked out of the house, away from me and my dad. I remember crying so hard while my dad took me on the bike to get her. The same feeling of great sadness was upon me. I don’t remember how it ended, but we ended up being ok… for the time being.
Now; I’m happy with him. But when he is brought up, I start to remember.
I remember how much hope I had and how it was all shot down. Those last few months, we were writing angry letters to each other and kinda avoiding each other and always arguing about people because of jealousy issues. Then that day, it was mutual. We needed a break, but we both knew that I could’ve meant break up. We thought nothing of it at first. I remember being in shock. Then a few days later, it hit me. Why did I do that? When I tried to get him back, the answer was no. Every time after that was no. No no no no no.
I remember we’d still hang out like we did before it ended and act like we were still together. But while we were doing that, he began to like other girls. It made me realize how worthless I was, and how I was just another girl to him. Then I started to think, I wasn’t worth being with anyone, and that I didn’t wanna be with anyone because I thought it would’ve been fake. I remember feeling so lost for those few months.
Luckily, I didn’t have to be in that state for long because now I’m with someone else. Regardless, I still feel those feelings that I felt before every now and then, and in the back of my head I remember, There’s always gonna be someone better than you.
Now; we’re all growing up. After 4 years of being together, we’re all taking different paths.
I remember the first time I met the two I’m closest to now. Both freshman year.
I was just the new girl, running the laps we had to in PE when a girl with glasses ran next to me and started talking to me. From there, our friendship blossomed. Without her, I probably would’ve been all derpy and kinda lonely for my PE/Transitions classes.
I remember sitting in Physical Science class, looking at this one problem that just didn’t make sense to me. The people I knew were talking to other people, and I didn’t wanna disturb. The only other person was this asian girl in the front row doing her work quietly. She looked kinda lonely and it seemed as though she knew what she was doing, so I asked her if she knew the answer to the question. She didn’t know either. From there we worked quietly side by side and then we talked more. Slowly but surely, our friendship blossomed. Without her, I wouldn’t have been as asian as I am now and as school oriented. That, and I might not have passes some classes.
And she’s been with me longer than anyone. I remember going to my first day of 5th grade. My parents came with me and we stood by the railing as we waited for the teacher to come. In the corner sad a little girl with glasses. She looked new too, but I didn’t wanna talk to anyone just yet cuz I was nervous. My parents on the other hand went up to her and started talking story. Soon a the teacher came, my parents left and it was just me and her. It was awkward at first, but from there, our friendship blossomed. That chick. We have a lot of memories together.
Things are changing, memories are rushing back. I have to move on and keep moving. But every now and then, I’ll remember things. Then, I must forget so I don’t dwell on it.